


Nighthawks soaring the skies

by sepherim_ml



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - Diners, Loneliness, M/M, Romance, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-26
Updated: 2018-11-26
Packaged: 2019-08-29 23:31:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16753546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sepherim_ml/pseuds/sepherim_ml
Summary: Castiel has not built any human relationship since he moved to town, he seldom talks, his colleagues never invite him out for a drink and his only family is an estranged brother. Then, one fateful rainy day, Castiel meets a lonely stranger in a diner.





	Nighthawks soaring the skies

**Author's Note:**

> Written for SPN Reversebang 2018 for [by-my-precious](https://be-my-precious.livejournal.com/838917.html) and her great prompt art! Coincidences, coincidences... I chose both her prompts and definitely didn't regret it! Thanks for the collaboration, please go [her art post](https://be-my-precious.livejournal.com/844323.html) and show some love! Her original prompt was really something that inspired me and I was instantly thinking about [Nighthawks](https://www.edwardhopper.net/images/paintings/nighthawks.jpg), by E. Hopper.
> 
> Thanks to [Iria4285](https://archiveofourown.org/users/iria4285/pseuds/iria4285/) for the beta-work, you rock! ♥

 

 

_"Unconsciously, probably, I was painting the loneliness of a large city.”_  
\- Edward Hopper

 

 

It's dark when Castiel exits from the building he has spent the whole day, working extra hours to finish the tasks his boss added to the neat pile on his desk just as Castiel was ready to go out.

He's used to crazy rhythms decided by his boss Zachariah and realized long time ago that, while his colleagues always succeed in dodging the extra work - by ass kissing and inventing the most creative excuses, something Castiel is not good at - Castiel is the preferred target of Zacharias’ vexations.

If this is not enough, there is no one waiting for him at home. No wife, children, not even a domestic pet. So, it comes natural to his colleagues to dump on him their work during the weekends or around the festivities.

It’s been years since he moved in from a small town to the big city and Castiel has not built any human relationship, he seldom talks, his colleagues never invite him out for a drink and his only family is a brother that is not far from a stranger.

Castiel has never had a stable relationship or a close friendship, so when he arrived in the city, he thought that he would never feel  the difference, that the wall he had built around him would never bother him. The city was just like his native town, only, bigger.

For some aspects, it is. But, Castiel sees someone else’s joy in companionship more than before and his heart becomes more and more cold every day it passes.

The air is cold outside the building and it’s raining.

Castiel has no umbrella so he starts to walk faster towards home, when he spots a 24h diner across the street. 'The Roadhouse' is an atypical diner, crushed among tall glass buildings, clashing with the vegan joints, posh restaurants and sushi express buffets.

Castiel notices it for the first time and wonders how such place could still exist in the neighborhood, but he's freezing, and any place would work at this point to wait for the rain to reduce a little, so he just enters.

Opening the door, he's welcomed by warmth and a nice smell. He sits at the counter and orders a beer.

The diner is semi-deserted, except for a couple chatting next to him and a man eating a slice of apple pie with the most satisfying expression Castiel has ever seen.

The stranger catches Castiel's stare and smiles, unashamed, while some crumbles fall off his lips. "Dude, try the pie. It's awesome."

Castiel blinks a couple of times before answering, "I don't like sweets."

The other shrugs. "You don't know what you're missing," and keeps eating.

"Something to drink, dear?" The patron asks the man with half pie in his mouth.

"I wish, Ellen, but I'm late," the other man finishes eating, pays up, exits and runs under the rain.

Castiel's eyes follow him until he's out of sight.

 

***

Castiel's apartment is small but very tidy. Everything has a place that has never changed, not since the day he moved in. There's a  lamp in his bedroom that ruins his perfect symmetry; the light bulb burnt some days ago but Castiel is so tired every time he returns from work that he always forgets to change it.

This evening, he does just that. Turning out the electricity, the whole apartment goes dark, lit only by the lights of the city pouring through the windows. With a light bulb in his hands, he stops, looking at the millions lights coming from outside. They’re close, all around him, but he cannot touch them or be lightened up by them.

Castiel stays in the shadows, listens to the noise of his neighbor's TV, he sits on the bed, the light bulb still in his hands, and lets the loneliness wash over him.

 

***

 

Zachariah has a PA that handles his appointments, but for some reason every time he comes to Castiel's cramped small office, he always asks for a cup of coffee - black, no sugar, Castiel has it memorized -.

When Castiel brings the cup to him, Zachariah doesn't thank him but he orders him to check other figures, barking that the end of the quarter is approaching, and Castiel knows he needs to skip his lunch break if he wants to go home before night.

The afternoon passes with Castiel listening his colleagues' plans for the weekend. Shopping spree, restaurants, a night at the cinema and dinner with the in-laws. Castiel’s plans are not as interesting; he will eat a soup for dinner and catch up with the latest episodes of Doctor Sexy MD.

"Have a nice weekend," his colleague Hannah says to him before leaving him in the deserted office. She sounds sorry, but that's it.

It's night when Castiel emails the finished report to Zachariah. At this point, he's starving and the promise of delicious hot food makes him stop in front of 'The Roadhouse'.

The diner is full this time, probably due to some baseball game, but he manages to find a spot in a corner. He orders a burger, salad and a beer.

He watches the people in the diner come and go, until their happiness and buzzy noise becomes too much to handle. Hesitating, he asks for a slice of pie to go.

Castiel almost collides with a man on the front door; it’s the stranger that advised him to try the pie. The other doesn't recognize him, he mumbles a half-apology and Castiel is well forgotten.

The pie is cold when he arrives at home, he re-heats it in the microwave and brings it to bedroom, planning to eat it while watching Doctor Sexy. He falls asleep soon after and the pie smears the duvet.

 

***

 

Saturday Castiel goes to the cinema.

The selection is not that wide, so in the end he watches an anonymous action movie. Coming back home, he goes grocery shopping. He wanders among the shelves and tries to conceive a shopping list for the whole upcoming week.

Halloween decorations are everywhere, bright orange and spooky, and Castiel avoids all the children running all around. Their parents’ screams bug him and he tries to shorten his time there as much as possible.

Once home, he organizes everything. The clock in the kitchen ticks at 7pm and Castiel takes a bath.

No noise in the bathroom. It’s just Castiel and the sound of his breath.

 

***

 

It's Monday and Zachariah rages all day about some figures not adding up and presentations not ready on time.

At the end of day, Castiel takes refuge at 'The Roadhouse'. It's semi-deserted again, the owner, Ellen, is not there, only a young waitress is taking care of the few customers.

The man from the other time enters the diner shortly after Castiel has taken a seat at a table near the big window. He has dark purple bags under his eyes, but still shots a smile to the blond waitress, calling her 'Jo'.

The stranger seems to be a regular, because Jo doesn't ask his order, she just chirps a greeting. The man sits in the table in front of Castiel, so it's a mechanical gesture for Castiel to look up and see him fiddling with his phone. Whatever the other man is staring at, he doesn't look happy.

"The fuck, Sam," Castiel hears him muttering.

Jo brings the stranger a burger with double portion of fries. "Cook has messed up an order," she says. "You're a lucky man."

"You're too sweet, Jo."

Jo is still smiling when she comes to Castiel, but she's more professional when she asks, "Want something else?"

"Another coffee, please."

"Sure thing."

The other man eats and keeps trying to call somebody who doesn't pick up. In the end, he just leaves a message to the mailbox, "Don't be an idiot, call me, Sammy," he catches Castiel's stare and fidgets. "Dude, you're staring."

"Sorry," Castiel says, feeling a little ashamed to be caught in the act. "I didn't mean to."

"It's ok," the other answers. "Family is a mess, right?"

Castiel has cut off all connection to his family a long time ago. The only one he speaks to is a half-brother he never sees. "Yes," he nods.

The man snorts. "You're a quiet one."

Castiel doesn't know how to respond. His people skills are a little rusty, it’s been too long since he has held a conversation that doesn’t involve figures and graphs.

"Have you tried the pie? It's awesome."

"I did."

"And?"

"I fell asleep and I crushed the pie."

The other laughs. He has a really nice laugh, something that makes Castiel almost smile by reflex. "Try it again. Two is a lucky number."

"Why are you so keen to make me try the pie?"

"Because it's awesome." A beep interrupts him. The man checks his pager, sighs and gets up, "Duty calls. See ya," he leaves a half eaten burger on the table.

 

***

 

It’s Halloween and his bell rings all night.

Children of the building are ringing, asking for treats, and Castiel ignores them. He puts on Doctor Sexy, has a snack and goes to sleep early. A loud noise wakes him up, the neighbors have started a fight about some cheating that apparently never happened.

Tired of hearing lovers spat from the Doctor Sexy marathon, Castiel puts on earplugs.

 

***

 

"Hey."

Castiel turns his head and relaxes when he recognizes the man. "Hi," he says. It's almost midnight and he's dead on his feet. The whole working day has been a roller-coaster and the idea to rest his weary head on the pillow of his empty house doesn't really appeal to him.

Back at 'The Roadhouse', he takes a place at the table and looks out the window for an hour, watching closely the people on the street, trying to guess where they are headed to so late at night. It has been crushing and soothing at the same time.

"I saw you staring out the window," the man says, sitting in front of Castiel without even ask permission. "I'm Dean, by the way."

"Castiel."

"Castiel? Is it a Bible name?"

"It’s coming from the Angel of Thursday."

Dean raises an eyebrow. It's a common reaction when people learn his name for the first time. "Ok, cool," he says. "So, I see you come here often. You live nearby?"

"I work in the area, at Smith & Wesson's."

"The tall building a couple of blocks away?"

"Yes, I'm an accountant there."

Dean laughs, "Oh, I see."

"Do you find it funny?"

"No, man, it's just -- the Angel of Thursday is an accountant," Dean keeps laughing, but Castiel doesn't feel mocked.

He discovers that Dean is a night shift nurse at the nearby hospital, that's why he has crazier working hours than Castiel. One fateful night, Dean stumbled in the diner, completely drained after a particular long shift, tasted their pie and he keeps coming back since then.

They pass a couple of hours together. Castiel finally tastes the infamous pie. It's delicious, but maybe it's Dean's no-stop chatter who makes it taste that way.

 

***

 

Castiel meets a young couple on the stairs while he’s returning home, they speak about anniversaries and burnt turkeys and he realises Thanksgiving is coming in a couple of days.

The couple live in the same floor of Castiel, but for some reason he has never seen them. Apart from the old woman at the ground floor who always open her door when she hears the front door opens, Castiel doesn't know anyone.

He has lived here  three years, though. Once, the water pipe broke and Castiel got called by the landlord for a meeting. He couldn't go because Zachariah arranged a meeting at the same time, so the plumbers investigated his apartment last and Castiel was forced to take couple of hours off work to supervise. Zachariah was not happy.

Castiel sits in the kitchen, preparing a sandwich. He reads his mail and checks the bills to pay, he adds to the grocery list to take a portion of roasted turkey.

He goes to bed. He dreams of apple pies.

 

***

 

Castiel finds himself looking for Dean when he steps in the diner the day after. "Cas!"

Hiding a smile at the nickname, Castiel joins the other at his table. "Hello, Dean."

Dean takes a look at him, assessing his appearance, and snorts, "You look like shit."

"Hard day at work."

"Hard day? Your boss is an asshole to overwork you like this. You keep coming here looking this bad another day, I need to have a word with him."

Castiel blinks a couple of times. No one has ever spent a word to defend him and now a stranger does it. "It's fine."

"It's not fine. You are exhausted. When is the last time you took a holiday?"

Castiel doesn't know. Anna from Human Resources sends him a couple of emails per year to remember him to take a leave from time to time. He never follows up.

"Take some time off, Cas, you need it," says Dean. His phone buzzes and Dean fiddles with it.

They stay in a comfortable silence for a long time, Castiel steals Dean's fries while the other writes emails, and the diner starts filling with people.

Castiel looks at the window; he doesn't stare outside but at his and Dean's reflection on the glass.

 

***

 

Christmas decorations appears inside the office, out in the streets, in his habitual diner, everywhere.

Ellen keeps a blackboard with the meal of the day behind the counter and now she has added a couple of holiday-theme dishes.

"Hi Castiel," Ellen brings him a cup of coffee as soon as he sits down. "Anything to eat?"

Dean is not around. "Maybe later."

"Dean just went away," Ellen winks at him. "He got the daily shift today."

Castiel tries to hide his disappointment. He drinks his coffee, stares at the Santa Klaus statuette holding napkins and hurries to home.

 

***

 

Castiel meets Dean again a couple of days after. He looks tired and grumpy, but smiles at Castiel when he sits near him.

"I haven't see you around in days," Castiel blurts out.

"Yeah, I covered the shift for a friend. I will need some time off during Christmas, so I cover for him now, he'll return the favor in a couple of weeks."

"You have plans for Christmas?"

Dean looks thoughtful, takes a sip of his beer and looks down. He doesn't seem happy. "Yeah, kinda. With family."

Castiel nods.

"You too?"

"No, my family is -- complicated."

"Don't tell me," Dean is troubled and Castiel wants to ask him what is bugging him, but refrains, he doesn’t want to overstep on such an intimate topic. "But you'll take off some days, right? Don't let that asshole boss you around for Christmas."

"I will," Castiel promises. "Dean?"

"Yeah?"

"Take care of yourself too."

Dean's green eyes are surprised when they look up. He smiles, "Yeah, Cas."

 

***

 

On a whim, Castiel buys Christmas lights in the supermarket, but once he's at home, he doesn't know where to put them.

He has no tree, no mantle. He ends up putting the lights over the library, switches them on and glance at them from time to time while reading a book.

Snow starts falling outside.

 

***

 

Snow is painting  the roads white. Dean has a red nose when he arrives at the diner.

"I'm freezing my butt off, fucking snow," he mutters as a welcome. "Hot coffee, Jo, I cannot feel my hands anymore."

His phones rings and Dean loses his grumpiness and becomes very serious suddenly . "Yeah, Bobby? What happened?" He nods. "Tell him I'm coming for Christmas. No, Sam will not visit. I asked, he's not coming. He’s an idjit, I know. Fine, see ya soon."

"Are you alright?" Castiel asks. He has never seen such distressed expression on Dean's face.

"Yeah, family drives me crazy," He tries to laugh, but only  nervous laughter comes out his mouth is bitter. Jo arrives with a hot cup of coffee and when she leaves, Dean adds, "It was Bobby on the phone. He basically raised me and my brother, Sammy. We were supposed to pass the Christmas with Dad, but Sam refuses it."

"Why?"

"Sam has--, he's attending Stanford, law school, he's the brain of the family," Dean is smiling with pride at the mention of his brother. "He and Dad are not on speaking terms."

"He will not come for Christmas."

"It's a pretty big deal for Dad, on 25th he'll be one year sober," Dean stops, looking at Castiel intensively, almost trying to assess his reaction. "Dad's in a clinic. He was -- a really heavy drinker. Sam never forgave him for some stuff that happened."

"You took care of him."

"He's my Dad, I thought Sam would set aside the mess of the past while Dad tries to get back on his feet, but, no, Sam is--," Dean scoffs. "He's so stubborn."

"He'll come around," Castiel says. He wants to lean and touch Dean to comfort him, but stays still. "I have a brother," he confesses. "More like half-brother, I have not seen him in over five years. When he remembers, he sends a Christmas postcard."

"He sucks as a brother."

Castiel doesn't argue. "I never call him, so it's mutual."

"You should call him," Dean says. "You're brothers. It's all that counts."

 

***

 

A Christmas tree is lit in his living room, small, but it's sparkling in red and gold.

Castiel leaves home to go to work. An ambulance passes in the street and his thoughts are running to Dean.

He thinks about Dean all day, messing up some figures. Zachariah is fuming, but Castiel manages to fix his mistakes and sends the report correct.

Hannah, a colleague who is always asking Castiel to cover for her around the festivities, asks him to do the same this year. Castiel refuses politely. He's taking some time off.

With this new resolution, he asks for approval to Zachariah. It comes through and Castiel arrives at the diner in a light mood.

Dean comes and they share a dinner. When he says to Dean that he took holidays, the other looks proud. "Awesome, Cas! You're becoming a big boy, Pinocchio!"

Castiel doesn't understand the reference, but smiles anyway.

"Ya already thought what you'll do?"

Castiel hasn't. He's saved from answering when Dean points out the diner, at the heavy amount of snow falling down. In minutes, the streets are covered.

"You live far from here?"

Castiel says his address, Dean curses. "It's crazy out there. Why don't you crash at my place? I have the night shift tomorrow."

Before Castiel can either accept or deny, Dean has already paid the bill and waits for him impatiently.

While walking under the snow, Castiel realizes they have never met outside the diner. They have spoken for months, but always in ‘The Roadhouse’. It’s strange following Dean outside, it’s almost like Dean’s invitation has crashed the last wall between them. Now, watching Dean’s back from behind, Castiel has the tangible impression he’s not watching the lights of the city anymore, but he’s in their midst.

There are hundreds of reasons why he shouldn't follow Dean to his place, but Castiel is drawn to him hopelessly and cannot pass this opportunity to spend more time together. Following the flow, Castiel keeps the pace, doesn’t argue he can grab a taxi, take the metro, he just holds on tight the coat, feeling his hands becoming more and more cold.

Dean's place is messy, but it's _Dean's_ , completely reflecting his personality, and Castiel likes it.

"Dude, sorry for the mess, I'll prepare you the couch," Dean hurries to free the couch from the abandoned clothes and other stuff.

There are pictures on a shelf. Dean with his parents and a little baby who must be Sam. Dean and Sam against a black classic car. Sam's graduation day, a man with a beard who maybe is Bobby standing besides Dean and Sam. Dean's diploma day with Bobby and Sam. There’s no traces of their father.

"Here, all ready," Dean wakes him up from his reverie. "You don't go to work tomorrow, right? You can stay as much as you like."

Castiel moves close, staring, trying to make a decision.

"Cas?"

Castiel kisses him.

Wind blows violently against the windows, splattering them with snow. In an unknown apartment, unbeknownst of the world, Castiel has found the piece he has missed for years.

Dean kisses him back like he's starving. They slip out their wet clothes and keep kissing, naked, on the couch so carefully arranged, messing it up again.

They go slowly, discovering each other's sensible spots with a care that leaves Castiel breathless. It’s been long since Castiel got intimate with someone and the huddle of raw emotions make his eyes tear up.

Dean moans deliciously when Castiel penetrates him; his plump lips form a 'O' so seductive, Castiel stops a moment and kisses him again.

The night is long and when dawn breaks, the pale sun finds them still on the couch, uncomfortably sprawled over one another, wrapped in blankets.

They go to the bathroom, they fuck again, they collapse on Dean's bed. They sleep.

 

***

Castiel is tense. He watches frantically the door, fidgeting every time the door of the diner opens, slumping when he sees that the person entering is not Dean.

"Stop tearing to piece the napkins," Jo moves the Santa Klaus and the napkins away from Castiel's nervous hands.

It's dark, Castiel is tired. Castiel waits for hours. The Christmas lights are lit all over the streets and Jo refuses to bring him more coffee or beer. She just brings him lemonade, which is funny, but Castiel doesn't care.

He needs to speak with Dean, to clarify, to make him understand. Castiel fell in the trap of his fears as soon as he returned back to his apartment, after spending the night and morning with Dean. Suddenly everything they did felt like a mistake; Castiel himself felt like a mistake, torn between the desire to see Dean again, to stay with him, to feel his skin under his hands, and the fear of losing the only brightness in his life.

Finally, it's Dean entering the diner, this time. Castiel blows the pieces of napkins away from the table, which makes him earn a sharp look from Jo. He will apologize, but before he needs to speak to Dean, to see if things are alright between them.

"Dean!" Castiel calls him and he's relieved when Dean doesn't ignore him.

"Hey Cas," he sits down in front of him, like nothing has changed between them. "Crazy days. I don't know why Christmas takes out the worst of the people."

"Dean."

"Cas."

"Are we--," Castiel asks. "Are we fine?"

"You're having second thoughts?"

"No, I-- Do you?"

"You're an idiot," Dean grins and Castiel relaxes. "I’ll come to your place tomorrow, I have the night off. I'll grill you some steaks."

 

***

 

Dean takes one look at Castiel's tree and laughs.

The apartment looks very tiny now, full of Dean chatter, laugh and jokes. They watch half episode of Doctor Sexy, before start kissing, losing completely the track of the tv-show.

They move to the bedroom, dancing clumsy in the shadows trying to get the other naked, and when Dean gets Castiel finally out of his pants, he states, “I won”, and starts blowing him. Castiel wants Dean to win every time. He feels like they’re part of the same team and not the lonely strangers met by accident they were.

Christmas comes and goes. They still see each other in and outside the diner.

 

***

 

Dean receives the new shift schedule and surprises Castiel at work. He passes an arm around his shoulders and they walk together to their usual diner.

Ellen greets them. They sit side by side and exchange small talk about their day. Castiel notices Dean hasn't kissed him yet, so he just does it.

“Good boy,” says Dean with a smile.

Outside, it's sunset time. They walk home, the light breeze caressing their faces, planning for the upcoming holiday they will take to visit Sam at Stanford.

The first lamp along the road is lit in the dark. Castiel comes close to Dean. He's not in the shadows anymore.


End file.
